"Two... fire!"

So ya thought ya might like to go to the show
To feel the warm thrill of confusion
That space cadet glow

I got some bad news for you sunshine
Pink isn't well, he stayed back at the hotel
And they sent us along as a surrogate band
We're gonna find out where you fans really stand

Are there any queers in the theatre tonight?
Get 'em up against the wall (against the wall)
Now there's one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me
Get him up against the wall (against the...)

And that one looks Jewish and that one's a coon
Who let all this riff-raff into the room?
There's one smoking a joint and another with spots
If I had my way I'd have all of ya shot