I've got a dog and my dog can dance
Just not in public and not with my friends
I've got a girl and she's twenty-eight
Now, I'm the coolest guy in all of eighth grade

I know a kid that you've never met
His dad was a rockstar, we smoked in his van
I know a trick, do you want to see?
I can be anything that I pretend to be

We'll get out of this
We'll get out of this too
I'm not proud of this
But I'm not proud of the truth
And if you run from me
Then I'll use my trick on you
The truth is that I'm screwed

I went to France and danced in the rain
And told you all about it on our first date
My dad doesn't lie so you can't meet my dad
'Cause you fell in love with the me that went to France

We'll get out of this
We'll get out of this too
I'm not proud of this
But I'm not proud of the truth
And if you run from me
Then I'll use my trick on you
The truth is that we're screwed

We'll get out of this
'Cause I love you, I do
We'll get out of this
'Cause I love you, it's true
But if you're doubting this
If you're doubting that I do
Then oh my God, I'm screwed